Monday, August 11, 2014

Wisconsin Vamp (Monsters in the Midwest Book 1) 99 Cent Sale!

Forget Young Adult. Scott Burtness writes Immature Adult. Horror-comedy fan and author of Wisconsin Vamp, Scott likes beer, bowling, karaoke and rooting for the underdog. After not nearly enough consideration, he decided to write about the things he enjoys.

"I live in the Midwest with my wonderful wife and our pitt-boxer mix, Frank. I've always enjoyed reading horror, sci-fi, thrillers and crime novels. For me, reading is a fun escape, a chance to live vicariously through someone else's adventures. I decided to start writing with the hope of entertaining readers like myself. Looking for something fun to read on the bus to and from work? I'm your guy!
I hope you enjoy my debut novel, "Wisconsin Vamp" and the soon-to-come additional books in the Monsters in the Midwest series. I'll be posting updates on 

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars Funny! March 12, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I find this book to be more of a comedy rather than of a vampire! Lots of humor in here. But I love it, it's cleverly written!

5.0 out of 5 stars The best unlikely vampire hero you'll meet! July 16, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition
Complimentary copy provided in exchange for honest review.

So, the last few years we’ve seen a bumper crop of paranormal stories, most notably with vampires as the main creature of the night. And sure, we’ve been swayed by the smooth talking Jean-Claude and Eric Northman; turned on yet slightly repulsed by Asher; and possibly wondered what the big fuss was about a sparkly vampire (or was that just me?)

Anyway, yeah, those stories were good; sometimes better than good, but they all seem to be somewhat the same: the pale yet ethereal, tall, slim but lean with hair better than a Pantene commercial model whose eyes can peer so deep into you he (or she) can see into your not-yet-anywhere-close-to-being born great-grandchildren’s souls, who, at the beginning of the story is so foul and vile not even Hell wants them, but because of the genuine love of some poor, unsuspecting tasty little meal who they probably thralled along the way ends up the wonderful hero by the end of the book where angels are singing their praises. Sound like a familiar story line?

Let me introduce you to Herb, a somewhat less-than-average cook at “Ronnie’s Famous Truck-stop, Grill, Bait Shop and Gift Emporium” located in some small town in Wisconsin. Herb doesn’t have it going on. At. All. He drives a Pinto and needs three different alarm clocks just to help him get up in the mornings. Through a weird twist of fate (and I mean weird), Herb becomes the newest citizen of the undead society. And oh what a journey it is! True to form, Herb doesn’t experience the transformation of waking up 3 days later looking like a Calvin Klein underwear model. No, his transformation is more Tales from the Crypt than America’s Next Top Model.

Scott Burtness has given us a book with a definitely unique twist on the paranormal vampire story with one of the most untypical protagonist in Herb. Despite the changes in his body, there is still a bit of goodness left in him that he tries to hold onto; which isn’t easy considering his best friend Dallas is becoming more and more suspicious of Herb, not to mention both Herb and Dallas are competing for the attentions of local waitress Lois.

The ending comes as somewhat of a shock, but given the overall unique quality of this story, it does seem to follow the unconventional route of endings. I can’t wait to read the next book in the series and recommend this book to anyone who is looking for a decidedly one-of-a-kind vampire hero.

5.0 out of 5 stars Very Funny! July 11, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition
Herb is your average guy. He enjoys meeting up with his mates for beer and bowling. He's not the most handsome of guys and he lacks confidence when it comes to the object of his affections, Lois. Unfortunately for Herb, his far more confident friend, Dallas, also has a thing for Lois. Herb is the underdog that you will end up rooting for.

Herb lives out in the sticks and is usually resistant to bugs, until he's bitten by a super bug that turns him into a vampire. His transformation is not the stuff of romance novels, it isn't pretty for poor Herb! His skin blisters and burns, he's violently ill, and develops a taste for raw meat. It's not all bad though. His senses are heightened, everything becomes more colourful and beautiful. As his confidence grows he's able to get to know Lois.

Things eventually get ugly between Herb and Dallas, and that's all I'm going to say because I don't want to spoil the ending.

It's well-written. The descriptions are great, I felt like I was there seeing it all through Herb's eyes. I'd describe it as a comedic romance/horror. It was a lot of fun to read but you will feel for poor Herb! I will be reading more from this author.

I received a free copy in exchange for an honest review.

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